Lately, my husband comes home every day smelling strongly of formaldehyde–the chemical used to preserve the dead bodies they are dissecting in the cadaver lab. (It’s a huge turn on.) One night I asked him “do you know your cadavers name?” (Because, I don’t know, sometimes I try and show interest in his life and get sick of asking “how was class today?”)
Tanner: Not her real name but we call her Jolene. Jo-jo for short.
Dana: Seriously? Jolene, like that Dolly Parton song?
Tanner: Exactly. I named her that because she’s the other woman. I spend more time with her than I do with you.
Jolene is a 94-yr old deceased female who had breast cancer, a double mastectomy, and double knee replacement surgery and is now half-disected and being preserved with formaldehyde. This is my competition. And I’m losing.
Speaking of the other woman, when I first moved here, I was talking to one of the 2nd year wives and we got on the topic of how many beautiful attractive women there are in medical school that are in our husbands classes and labs, getting more time with them that we do. She said “I hate it. I started baking a ton and always sending my husband to school with awesome treats.”
Me: Oh, so that all those women see his delicious home-baked goods and are reminded he has a loving awesome wife at home?
Christie: N0–to keep him fat so that none of them want him!
We wives do what we gotta do.