Morale is low at the Staples place. Well, I guess technically speaking, since Tanner isn’t actually at the Staples place, and Camryn is asleep with positively no morale issues whatsoever, I’m the only one here with low morale. But gosh dang it if I don’t have enough of it to fill up all the rooms, so it feels like I can speak for the whole place. Don’t you worry, it’s a temporary sort of low morale, but it sure has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week over here.
Tanner is working his first ever “on-call” shift at the hospital tonight. It’s a 7 p.m.-7 a.m. shift and the optimistic part of my brain hoped that he wouldn’t get called in at all but, at 6:55 as we made our way out of the canyon coming from a father’s day picnic with my family and regained cell phone service . . . ring ring, “come to work” and *pop* there goes my bubble bursting along with any hopes of quality husband time, a relaxing brass band in the park or the post-picnic steak dinner I was going to cook that happened to be the only thing I managed to plan for father’s day. (I didn’t even manage a card, but if I had, it would have said something like “the house is clean and your daughter is alive, sorry that’s the best I could do, happy father’s day!”) I heard a med-school-wife rumor that “on-call” was just a euphemism for “really terrible & long shift that you will be called in to work almost without exception” and I’m going to continue to really hope that’s not true even if it’s unhealthy to harbor irrational hopes. I’m not the one who should be complaining though because I’m not the one who has to be working even though I’m exhausted, was kept up all night by my wife hacking her lungs up, and didn’t even get my father’s day nap or steak.
This week has just been the perfect(ly awful) storm of Tanner working really long hours and me being sick. (and severe flat-tire blues, but I’ll rant about that later) If you don’t know me at all, I’M A HUGE BABY ABOUT BEING SICK. And what do you do when it’s 6 a.m., the baby is crying and ready to be up for the day, the husband just worked a 14 hour day and has another 12 hour one coming, but the wife has been coughing all night, feels suuuuper lousy and needs her sleep to recover? whose turn is it? It’s kind of a lose-lose because either I do it, or I feel guilty the whole time that Tanner is doing it. (my little sister said tonight in her best sarcastic voice that we make parenting look really appealing)
Here are some good things though since this post is turning out to be a real downer and I keep being reminded that people have much bigger problems going on aaaand I once read that self pity is the most unattractive of all traits and that sounds like it’s probably true. 1) 3 different people made me dinner this week because I know some awesome ladies. 2) I had this epically awesome realization around 11:30 last night that I am no longer pregnant or nursing and therefore I CAN TAKE NYQUIL!!! there was much rejoicing and choruses of angels because people, I haven’t popped so much as an aspirin for the past 9+14+3 months (pregnancy+nursing+time since I stopped nursing). I know there are some medications you can take, but I never know which ones (& they’re not the good ones) and I usually steer clear of medication anyway if I can help it. So it didn’t even once cross my mind until day 4 of my cold that medicine exists and sometimes sick people take it to feel better. And nyquil is my best friend! (apparently though it worked only well enough to keep me unconscious but not well enough to keep me from coughing all night)
Completely unrelated: here is a super classy photo of my baby. I’ll be in a better mood next post, promise.